<h1 style="text-align: center;">Hey Girl, Talk to me About Street Harrassment</h1>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1282168619/es/foto/mujer-peat%C3%B3n-siendo-acosada.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=SH42dTMRZWjArjfVA09ZGdwYFF7JcEGh3s_17sH0mh4=" alt="" width="800" /></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>"I need a prayer to get in her book and it looks rather dry I guess a twinkle in her eye is just a twinkle in her eye Although she's crazy steppin, I'll try to stop her stride Cause I won't have no more of this passin me by" -- Slimkid3 of The Pharcyde from "Passin Me By"</strong></em></p>
<p>Several years ago, me and my boys Ace and Hugh were walking down Canal Street in New Orleans. We were there for the Essence Music Festival, Fourth of July Weekend. For those who have never been or read my previous posts about it, it's essentially a weekend of nothing but great music, excellent cuisine, lots of liquor, and for a man, so much eye candy they're bound to leave with optical diabetes.</p>
<p>Such a piece walked right past the three of us as we were discussing which direction we were going in. The girl was flanked by two others on her right and left side. They were all walking quickly, but Ace and Hugh seemed to be in a daze as she passed. I looked at them and I noticed that their game was off. They didn't call out to her; they didn't try to get her number. They simply stood there and watched her leave.</p>
<h2>The Reality Of Street Harassment And Male Obliviousness</h2>
<p>I said, "Damn, y'all are slipping." To which Ace responded, "Nah homie, that girl was walking too fast and she looked like she wasn't trying to be bothered." That stuck with me. Out of the three of us, my boy Ace is the most successful with women. He's got the best style, the coolest demeanor, and he's also just naturally good looking. But more than that, he can read people. He knows when to approach and when not to. At that moment, I realized there's a difference between pursuing a woman for her time and pestering her for her time.</p>
<p>Too many times, I hear men talking about girls they've hollered at or tried to holla at, and they describe situations where the woman was visibly uninterested, uncomfortable, or even terrified, but they still pushed forward anyway. They will describe situations as if they were some grand romantic gesture or a valiant attempt at winning over a woman who was "playing hard to get." What they're really describing is harassment, and what they're really describing is a woman who was trapped in a situation where she felt she couldn't say no or be rude.</p>
<p>Understanding <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/why-guys-shouldnt-put-women-down/" rel="dofollow">why guys shouldn't put women down</a> goes beyond avoiding insults—it's about recognizing that women don't owe men their time, their smiles, or their attention, and that respecting this boundary is what separates a gentleman from a harasser.</p>
<h2>When Compliments Become Invasive And Threatening</h2>
<p>The problem is that men have been taught that persistence is romantic. We've been fed a steady diet of movies and television where a guy does something he's been explicitly told not to do, and the woman eventually falls for him. But that's fantasy. In real life, that's called stalking. In real life, that's called harassment. In real life, that's a woman who is now scared to walk home the same route she took that morning because a man wouldn't take no for an answer.</p>
<p>I want to challenge every man reading this right now. How many of you have approached a woman on the street, been rejected, and then persisted anyway? How many of you have told yourselves that she was "just being shy" or "playing hard to get"? How many of you have ignored her discomfort because you believed your intentions were good and that good intentions trump her agency?</p>
<p>A compliment is only a compliment if the person receiving it has the freedom and safety to say no to it. Building <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/how-to-build-a-lasting-relationship-beyond-ideal-proposals/" rel="dofollow">how to build a lasting relationship</a> requires understanding that consent and respect are foundational—they apply not just to dating but to every human interaction, including a simple comment on the street.</p>
<h2>Confronting Male Culture: Why Respect Matters More Than Attention</h2>
<p>We need to have more conversations like this one—conversations where men are held accountable not just for what we do, but for what we normalize in our male spaces. When you hear your boys talking about a girl they hassled, when you hear them laugh about how "persistent" they were until she eventually gave them her number, you need to say something. That's not a story to be proud of. That's a woman who was worn down.</p>
<p>Street harassment thrives in silence and in the normalized culture of male entitlement. It thrives because we've created a world where a man's desire to speak to a woman supersedes her right to walk down the street unmolested. It thrives because we tell young women they should be flattered by the attention. Understanding that <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/how-women-really-feel-about-male-dominance/" rel="dofollow">how women really feel about male dominance</a> includes recognizing that true attraction and respect come from men who read the room, who understand boundaries, and who value a woman's autonomy above their own urge to pursue.</p>
<p>So I'm asking you: The next time you're about to approach a woman on the street, ask yourself if she looks like she wants to be approached. Ask yourself if she has a choice in this interaction or if she's trapped by social conventions that make it difficult for her to be rude. Ask yourself if your desire for her time is worth making her uncomfortable. And if you can't answer those questions honestly, then maybe—just maybe—it's time to let her keep walking.</p>
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